inspired by a convo w/a friend this a.m., i would like to come up with a word or phrase that means selfish in the good way that we all should be - a word that means investing real effort to take care of oneself physically and mentally, not putting up with hurtful/insensitive/inappropriate behavior from people who claim to care, paying attention to one's instinct, saying no (politely but firmly) to unreasonable requests at work/otherwise, spending time pursuing passions and hobbies (mosaics!) that feed the soul, not focusing so much on taking care of other people that it becomes detrimental to one's own health and well-being, not molding oneself to meet social expectations, and being able to prop oneself up when the actions or words of another person tear you down.maybe the word exists already and i just don't know it. either way i want to learn how better to be that word.
Cat! I've been trying to come up with this same word for ages. It is to me an ultimate state of mind that makes me feel balanced when I achieve it. I will be ruminating on this today.
ReplyDeleteHow about self-est-ness? As in, best self.
ReplyDeleteIn any case, I love the concept. I know that the lower I let my blood sugar get, the more likely I am to eat junk food. I think the same applies to taking care of self - like making sure your spirit has enough good calories. :)
I think what you just described is the sensation we get when we're totally healthy (mentally and physically) and therefore, everything is in balance. So maybe "balanced?" It's probably what we're all striving to be. A female colleague/mentor I admire once explained that we don't have to keep 100% of our time/emotion etc. for ourselves, just the majority, or, at least 51%. That's not selfish, that's just sane.
ReplyDeleteIn my language, there is a word expression fo this case. Translating.. Self-discipline or self maintenance... I found the description of self maintenance using in the study of robotices...it is based on "proprioception", or sensing one's own internal status. In the battery charging example, the robot can tell proprioceptively that its batteries are low and it then seeks the charger. Sounds too robotic??
ReplyDeletethe concept of self-care is one that's often overlooked in our society. i know i for one was brought up to do do do for other people -- and anything that i did for myself was seen as energy spent NOT on someone else. how backward is that!? we all need time to recharge!?
ReplyDeletealso, i like caroline's suggestion...self-est-ness, as a concept and as a word, rocks.
thanks for sharing these thoughts, cat. sending my love from the ennn why sea...